I weigh the same now as I did in high school.вЂќ ThereвЂ™s no keel over, make a young and pretty corpse. ItвЂ™s just the worst death вЂ“ a chickenshit, shivering, quaking, whiny death. This is suicide, the same as the gun barrel in the mouth, except that itвЂ™s infinitely more cowardly. DonвЂ™t let me die a fucking coward, not this way! Shit! Anything but this! IвЂ™m dying from having avoided the pain of living. I said, God, just give me one more chance, man. вЂњThis time I really felt that way morally about life.

Each time he woke up, heвЂ™d scramble for the pistol and count the bullets, terrified thereвЂ™d be one missing.)

44 Magnum, stumbled up the driveway to Mulholland, taken dead aim at a passing car and pulled the trigger. (Zevon had a recurring dream: that heвЂ™d grabbed his. I had my hand on the phone, I was afraid that I was going to start hallucinating and shooting guns вЂ“ I didnвЂ™t know what was going to happen.вЂќ вЂњThe last time I detoxed, I really thought I was going to die. вЂњFrom what I know about alcoholism,вЂќ Zevon is saying, вЂњIвЂ™d say thereвЂ™s nothing romantic, nothing grand, nothing heroic, nothing brave вЂ“ nothing like that about drinking. IвЂ™m reminded of HitchcockвЂ™s movies, where the horror happens in broad daylight. Since Warren and I are both night people, weвЂ™ve decided to do our tapings from one or two in the morning until dawn, then laze around in the backyard and watch the planes, magnificently framed against a faraway mountain range, make their long, slow descent across the San Fernando Valley toward the Burbank airport. вЂњVery California,вЂќ he smiles, with a certain amount of grim satisfaction.) Lankford, whoвЂ™s currently starring in Knots Landing, has gone to bed hours ago. He is particularly chagrined by a four-foot-high red bathtub. (вЂњThis stupid, pretentious, screenwriterвЂ™s idea of a screenwriterвЂ™s idea of a screenwriterвЂ™s houseвЂќ is how Zevon describes it. We are sitting up late at night in Warren and KimвЂ™s rented home in the Hollywood Hills. 'Silence of the Lambs': The Complete Buffalo Bill Story And, since I was around for a few key incidents, I hope I do, too. Eventually, a dedicated drunk will maim or kill everything he touches, often putting himself at the bottom of the list. But youвЂ™d write it that way only if you didnвЂ™t realize that alcoholism is a disease, and that your true alcoholic is about as colorful and heart-warming as a pale white body on a concrete slab. There was even a laugh or two here and there: the protagonist buys a Christmas quart for his in-laws, discovers itвЂ™s the only liquor in the house and drinks it all himself before they can sample a drop. Most of it happened, some of it still might. Starring Richard Dreyfuss as our wild and crazy hero, Diane Keaton as ex-wife Crystal, Warren Beatty as Jackson Browne, Gregory Peck as private-eye novelist Ross Macdonald (real name: Kenneth Millar), actress-girlfriend Kim Lankford as herself, with a special guest appearance by Jack Klugman as вЂњthe Doc.вЂќ Zevon: a drinking-manвЂ™s drinking man, someone who can talk about booze the way Pete Townshend talks about rock & roll. How Warren Zevon, after some heartwarming and colorful misadventures, licked the Big A and lived happily ever after. ThatвЂ™s what this storyвЂ™s supposed to be about.

Warren zevon poster